7 Ways to Write the Journey
By Yvone Williams
When writing contemporary fiction, you’ll often find this
one “rule” stifling your story: Do not write traveling scenes– readers don’t
want to be bogged down by your character’s journey. This is a lie, and it’s the
same lie your parents told you when you asked them where babies came from.
Showing the journey your characters make is a lot like
having sex: Yes, your story could get AIDs, but if you play it smart, it can be
a wonderful experience for all involved. Travel scenes do have the potential to
kill your story, but only if there’s no conflict. Keep the reader engaged by
using these 7 tools in your travel scenes:
1. Inner thoughts about the present.
Let us see who your character is and why they’re the
protagonist instead of That Guy Bob. What are their opinions on their
surroundings, and how do these surroundings affect your character differently?
This is a great time to hint at impending conflicts and show us what your
protagonist wants:
Maybe your story’s external conflict is survival in a dystopian
world. As they travel past a field of crops, do they brood about their distaste
for a particular crop because it’s a reminder of the society’s nefarious
intentions, yet the townfolk mindlessly devour it?
Maybe your protagonist’s inner conflict is overcoming the
death of their father. As they travel through the forest, do they curse the
sight of a boulder, which most people wouldn’t think twice about, because it’s
where their deceased father sharpened his blade every day?
2. Inner thoughts about the recent past.
This works best if your journey occurs after a high
tension scene. In those scenes, you avoid breaking up the flow of action and
your characters are making decisions on impulse. The journey they make after
these moments are great for filling in the “why”s and showing the reader the
emotional impact of that scene.
Along the journey, have your character question why they
reacted the way they did and let them make judgments about it. How do they feel
about the choice they made? Was their choice misguided, and if so, was it by
something tangible or emotional? Does your protagonist know and accept what
their actions say about them, or are they in denial?
3. Dialogue and character interaction
Show us the diversity of your characters by allowing them
to interact along the journey. Each character will have lived a different life,
and their experiences have shaped the way they view the world.
Introduce something they can react to– some element or
event along the journey that will show how their perceptions and ways of
problem-solving differ or clash. (Earn bonus points by creating an event that
serves as a subplot.)
If the reveal of their opposing views doesn’t immediately
create conflict between them, don’t worry– it’ll pay off later in the story
when you reveal whether those opinions influenced the characters in a way that
was beneficial or detrimental. This is why tertiary characters exist; their job
is to influence your protagonist.
4. Pathetic fallacy
Pathetic fallacy is a type of personification that mirrors
the mood of your character. Because this literary device is more commonly found
in poetry than genre fiction, you want to be careful not to use it in a way
that will induce laughter or eye-rolling.
Use it sparingly and avoid trying too hard. If you want to
play it safe, save it for the Third Person POV; you don’t want your First
Person POV character to seem overly dramatic by having them say “the sky wept…”
if that’s not the way they regularly describe the world.
This device works wonders on a Third Person POV: Some
readers prefer Third Person because First Person is too intimate. With that
said, a common complaint about Third Person is that it’s too detached.
Pathetic fallacy is a great way to combat the distance
between the reader and your characters, and maintain that balance between
detachment and intimacy. By providing an inanimate object to relay the emotions
of your character, you make it easier, for those who like detachment, to
connect with the character on an emotional level.
5. Signpost Foreshadowing
A signpost, or plant, is a cue to the reader that
something big is going to happen. You can foreshadow through dialogue, action,
or thoughts, allowing a character to show potential for their future deed (or
misdeed.) Foreshadowing along the journey allows you to keep the tension high–
even if there’s no obvious conflict present in the scene.
K.M. Weiland, author of Dreamlander, can show you the
right way to foreshadow.
6. Descriptive Foreshadowing
Unlike foreshadowing with signposts, you don’t have to
hint that there will be a problem– you can tell the reader exactly what the
problem is and the major obstacle that stands between success and failure. The
reason you get to say all of that is because it’s wrapped up in symbolism and
disguised as descriptive narrative.
Foreshadowing through description makes your narrative
work overtime. Not only are you stimulating the 5 senses to transport the
reader to your story world, showing off those world-building/research skills,
and setting the mood, you give your story some serious replay value (for the
non-gamers out there, that means people will read your book more than once.)
Create a symbol such as a bird, a handbag– whatever makes
sense for your story problem– and have it reoccur. Tell the reader what they
can expect to happen by the way you choose to describe that object and the way
it interacts with its surroundings.
7. Dramatic irony
This works best if used just before your character makes a
journey. Revealing a crucial piece of information to your audience, but
withholding it from your character, allows you to maintain a sense of tension
along the trip. Show us the trap that lies at the end of the road. Tell us your
characters’ secrets or motivations– the ones they’re not telling the others.
Using dramatic irony just before the journey will have the
reader dying to flip the page, but unable to do so any faster than they can
read, as they wonder when and how the information will come to light. Just make
sure the information serves its purpose by the end of the story, or you’ll find
your book in the local yard sale bin.
Now what?
Now that you have 7 tools in your kit, your job is to
write the journey– make it engaging, keep the tension high, and maintain that
suspense! Just remember that the same rules apply to your traveling scene as
any other: length should be proportionate to importance. So have fun with it
and consider this list your 98% effective condom.
Yvone is a writer of Fantasy and Mainstream fiction. She is also a blogger, beta reader, and a participant of NaNoWrimo. For more writing advice, check out her blog at FetchingFigment.
Thanks for posting this, Travis!
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